Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Ultimate Nerd Powah


Ok, this is about as nerdy as it gets, but what the hell.

Let’s talk about which Characters from Firefly would get recruited for the various Lantern Corps.



To do this we’ll have to investigate which emotion is most central to the various characters, as well as the emotions that they can engender into others. Also, for the sake of this exercise we’ll be using the characters at the time of the series, rather than after the events of Serenity, which substantially changed many, many things.



Quick background: In the Green Lantern comics, it was revealed some years ago that Green wasn’t the only color of Lantern in the universe. There was an entire light spectrum tied to various emotions, which granted their wielders tremendous powers. They are represented as follows:

Green = Willpower
Blue = Hope
Yellow = Fear
Red = Rage
Orange = Avarice
Violet = Love
Indigo = Compassion

So here we go!

Let’s start at the top of the pile with the Captain:


Capt. Malcolm Reynolds – Red Lantern
            - “You have great Rage in your heart.”



Let us ignore the cruelty of a universe in which we cannot travel back in time to kidnap a 25 year old Nathan Fillion and cast him as Hal Jordan. We’re talking about Mal, and Mal’s defining emotion throughout the series is Anger.

And really, it’s almost for lack of anything else. Mal has lost everything that he has ever believed in (and it is implied that he had quite a bit of belief) due to a soul-crushing loss to the Empi- um, Alliance, and with that was lost any Hope. 

"Huh, bummer. Who's down for IHOP?"

The Alliance represents everything that Mal hates in this world: Oppression, opulence, negligence and advancement without purpose. And they rule the galaxy. Everything that he ever does must be achieved through a filter of cow towing to and avoiding a regime that he despises with everything in his heart. Every day, all the time.

We see evidence of this when he very nearly allows Shepard Book to die because asking the Alliance for help is so abhorrent a concept to him that he will not even entertain it. Earlier, we see him actively seeking physical fights with Alliance-loyal civilians, for no other reason that a desire to hurt them.

"It's really more of a Burgundy Coat..."

But my biggest insight into Mal’s central emotion comes from War Stories. Mal keeps Wash alive through hours of pain and abuse at the hand of a madman. Beyond that, he is able to keep his sanity intact as he is literally tortured to death and then brought back, for no other reason than that he has not suffered enough.

Finally, the tables turn, and the man who has tormented Mal lies cowering at his feet. Mal stands, battered and bleeding, his eyes wide with grim focus. Through a voice raw from cries of pain, he bellows at his captor, “Do you want to meet the REAL me now?”

And I fucking believed him.

"No thank you, sir, I do not."

Mal seems like an ideal candidate for the Green Ring, but Willpower is a funny thing. It needs a motivating emotion to guide it, or its’ just Entropy. Mal definitely has a relentless Will to survive, and to protect his family, but it’s not what drives him, truly. In War Stories, his perseverance through his trials may seem like a testament to his Will, but I believe that it was merely the focus of a feral rage, patiently waiting to uncoil.

Mal is driven by his hatred of the Alliance. He must survive, if only to show them that they haven’t won. Not everything.

"You can't take the sky from me, assholes."


Alright, Mal’s mad. So who gets the coveted emerald band of Will?


Zoe Alleyne Washburne - Green Lantern
            - “You have the ability to overcome great fear.”



I said before that Willpower is funny, because it needs another emotion to anchor it, to give it purpose, and although Zoe has this (we’ll nail it down in a moment), it’s her ceaseless drive and focus that define her, more so than for Mal. She has complete understanding of her own motivations, and her life is driven by her devotion to carrying out those principles. She gets the job done, no matter what, and anything between her and her goal is an obstacle to be overcome.

"What kind of pussy passes out after getting shot?"

But what is her Willpower derived from? We said that it needs another emotion to fuel it, and Zoe’s is Love. Now, her love for her husband is potent, but one would rarely say that it defines her, or drives her actions throughout the series. Rather, it’s her love for Mal that keeps her moving forward.

Somethin' about that's downright unsettlin'...

When I say “Love” here, what I really mean is Loyalty which, to my mind, is a very deep, yet totally platonic, type of love. She trusts Mal, she is devoted to him, and she will follow him on whatever course he sets. Does this mean that she always agrees with him? That she will not question him, or even disobey him when she must? No, but her entire life is centered around a command structure that she learned in the military, but has elected to maintain perfectly even in civilian life. Why?

I said before that Mal lost everything in the war, and he no longer truly believes in anything, leading him down a hateful path. It is here that Zoe and Mal are truly different, because Zoe still believes in something. Exactly one thing.

She believes in Mal. And that belief gives her the Will to move planets.

 This is the bus ad for a sitcom that is too awesome to exist.

Next up...


Kaywinnet Lee Frye - Blue Lantern
            - “You have the ability to inspire great Hope.”



Although Mal is fueled by rage, what makes him fascinating is that he not only understands and acknowledges this fact, but actively works to counteract it. He does this by surrounding himself with people who embody the things that he has lost in himself, and so it is that he brought Little Kaylee onto Serenity, to save it every day.

Because the damn thing if made out of duct tape, evidently.

Kaylee is a force of pure joy, powered and driven from within by a deep and true belief that people are inherently good and that everything really will turn out best in the end. That all will be well.

This fact makes her very trusting, occasionally overly so, and unfailingly honest, but it does much more. Hope is the most powerful emotion, not because it is invincible (indeed, as Mal has seen, it can be quite fragile) but because it has the ability to affect the most change in the world. Kaylee quite literally saves Serenity every day by keeping her flying and in good repair, but she also makes sure that everyone on the ship understands what it means that they’re all there, together, counting on each other, She makes them a family, she believes in each and every one of them, and that allows them to believe in themselves.

Was she stoned for this scene?

I very sincerely believe that, had she died in the Pilot, everyone on that ship would be dead or a killer. She holds them back from the brink, just by being herself.



But we can't all be saints...


Jayne Cobb – Orange Lantern
            - “You want it all.”



No real strain on this one. Jayne evolved a great deal over the course of the series, but in his heart he always wants more. His character development is not connected with his realization that Money Is Not Everything, but rather in altering his views on exactly what he is willing to do to get it.

Indeed, in his most potent moment of self-examination, he still cannot fathom why a man would jump in front of a shotgun blast to save his life. The concept of self-sacrifice is alien to him.

The future version on a backwards chair.

Examples of this are too numerous to list, but here goes anyway.
“Maybe it’s gold…”
“Might even pick us up a re-ward for our troubles.”
“How big a room?”
“I don’t see the value in getting’ involved in other people’s troubles without an upfront price negotiated.”
“Money wasn’t good enough…”
“Money was too good, Mal…”

"HR would like a word with you..."

This doesn’t make him a bad person. Indeed, the fact that he’s only betrayed the group ONCE speaks to his incredible restraint, given what we’ve seen. But it would be hard to argue that Greed isn’t Jayne’s driving emotion.


Here's another!


Dr. Simon Tam – Indigo Tribesman
            - “You have the ability to feel great compassion.”


Another one that’s a bit of a gimme. Throughout the series Simon is only motivated by doing things for others, primarily his sister. He has a very promising future in field that he loves and truly believes in, and he sacrifices it without hesitation when his sister needs him. He is only ever concerned for her safety in any situation, literally throwing himself into harm’s way to give her even a chance at survival. He turns to crime to get her a medical diagnosis. He stands with her to be burned at the stake. He jumps onto a federal officer from 30 feet up to save her. Simon’s character IS protecting River. Her fate is his. Perfect compassion.

"If only there were some Large Darn Heroes around somewhere..."

Even beyond his sister, however, Simon is a doctor, and it is a profession that he chose for very specific reasons: He is a healer. He has an inability to pass by a fellow human in need. In the Ariel hospital, he risks their entire operation to save the life of a complete stranger. When he and River are kidnapped by crazy hill-folk, he can’t help but tend to the sick he’s brought to heal, and after he’s rescued he genuinely apologizes for not being present to help Shepard Book. Because he was busy being kidnapped.

Yeah. Not a tough call, this one.

In season 2 he was going to cure Space AIDS.


But what about the hookers?!


Inara Serra – Star Sapphire (Violet Lantern)
            - “You have great Love in your heart.”



I actually had a bit of a hard time reconciling this one. Just because you’re a whore (sorry, Companion) doesn’t mean that Love has anything to do with it. Indeed, it’s categorically opposed to the concept. But I came around when I realized that Inara’s driving emotion is the Love that she feels, completely outside of her job, and that it is more varied than anyone else on the ship.

First, she loves the entire crew. Where Simon is a healer, Inara is a nurturer, and against her better judgment she often places herself in a soothing, comforting role to anyone who needs it, from a shaken Shepard to a lovesick mechanic to a doctor about to die on his birthday (even as she was about to die herself).

Get over it, guys.

Secondly, she loves Mal. Obviously. Her struggle with her feelings for him is central to her character evolution and choices throughout the series, eventually leading her to leave the ship. She understand that it’s a damn powerful emotion, and she feels it so much that it is physically too much for her to continue as she has.

"What? No, I'm crying about a different heartbreaking betrayal."

Finally, and perhaps most subtly, she loves Serenity. Indeed, she may be the only person on the ship that loves it as much as Mal, because Serenity means the same thing to both of them: Freedom. It’s hinted at, albeit sparsely, through the series that Inara left her world for a reason, escaping something, much like Mal escaping the Alliance. They both love her not for what she is, but what she could be.

And than just makes them all the more perfect for each other.

OH MY GOD! JUST KISS, YOU FREAKS!


Now we might be getting into some surprises...


Shepard Derrial Book – Yellow Lantern
            - “You have the ability to instill great Fear.”



Some folks have accepted the telling of Shepard Books’ mysterious origin in the comics as canon, while others maintain other theories. You may put me in the former category, but really, for our purposes here, it doesn’t matter. We’re only looking at the series, and in the series, this motherfucker can be pretty damn scary.

Just ask River.

We don’t really know Books’ history, but the clues that we are given paint the picture of a man capable of great and terrible things. His reception when brought to the Alliance station for medical care wasn’t one of reverence, but of urgency. He wasn’t a hero, but rather someone they wanted patched up and out of their vessel as fast as possible. His conversation with Womack certainly implied a more sinister mind behind his seminarian countenance, and his knowledge of and skill with firearms hinted at a past littered with bodies.

He wasn't born a Shepard...

But really, it’s in Objects in Space that we get our biggest confirmation that Shepard Book is a man to be Feared. When River accidentally reads his mind (sees into his heart, whatever the fuck she was doing), we’re informed that this man of the cloth doesn’t give half a hump who’s innocent or not, in a voice that would not sound out of place coming out of the Clown Prince of Crime. Somewhere in there was a dark and terrible will, and a man like that is surely one who has stuck terror into more than a few hearts.

Seriously, why don't more people read the comics?


So you might notice that we’ve gone through the entire Emotional Spectrum, but we still have two crewmembers left. Luckily for us, fictional nature abhors a vacuum, and so there are two more “colors” to consider from the GL canon:


River Tam – White Lantern
            - “Live.”



The collection of all colors, all emotions, and the embodiment of life.

River is incapable of shutting out emotions. Simon states as much after a scan of her brain reveals that her amygdala has been stripped. His exact words: “She feels everything. She can’t not.”

"It's as I feared... She has Plot-Convenient Dementia."

River represents all emotion, and indeed, she displays each of them at different points throughout the show:

Will – “No power in the ‘verse can stop me.”
Fear – “Two by two… hands of blue…”
Rage – “I function, like a girl… I hate it, because I know it’ll go away!”
Compassion – “You have to eat… keep up your strength.”
Love – “But I understand… You gave up everything you had to find me.”
Hope – “And I’ll get better. I’ll get better.”
Avarice – “I didn’t get you anything.”

Is "badass" an emotion?

She is the culmination of every feeling, simultaneously, and it has driven her mad.


Now, Wash doesn’t really fit any of these molds perfectly. There isn’t a Snarky Lantern, sadly. But, just for funsies, I’m gonna break my “series only” rule to fit him into the final spot:


Hoban Washburne – Black Lantern
            - “Rise.”



The complete absence of color, of emotion. The embodiment of death.

This applies to Wash outside of the context of the show more than anything else. Honestly, what is the one part of Serenity that is most powerful, most affecting, for the viewer as well as the characters? Wash’s death is so potent that it connects the character to death after the fact, even when he’s has been the very opposite throughout the entire story.

This is the opposite of death.

I’ll also admit that this selection also has a bit to do with how the Black Lanterns in the comics actually operate: When the embodiment of Death, Nekron, decides to end all life in the universe, he sends out black rings to bring the dead back to life. The purpose is to bring about strong emotional reactions in the living, which can be harvested to power his final plans.

Also, Batman was a zombie.... 'cause.

Now, with that in mind, imagine if Zoe wandered onto the bridge to find Wash sitting in his old chair, reaching out for her, joking as if nothing had happened. Imagine her torment as she realizes the truth, and the pain when he reveals his tattered, rotted form, vicious and hurtful words spewn at his widow in an attempt to provoke her rage or sorrow.

Yeesh. Grim, but MAN, I would love to read that story.

Yes, DANCE, my puppets!

Ok, well… I guess that’s it! Agree? Disagree? Lemme know! 

Monday, December 19, 2011

#'s 4-1

Oh, good morning, blog! I seem to have abandoned you in the basement, tied to a smoldering radiator for three months. My bad!

Let's wrap this shit up. Spoilers ahoy!

#4:


You want a fun adventure story? You want science fiction, in the traditional sense? You want terrifying, incest-based life lessons? Look no further, dear readers.

"Y'know... in 29 years, you're gonna buy me these underpants..."

Back to the Future, to me, is one of the purest examples of a totally complete film that I can conjure. It is a nearly perfectly executed story, balancing actual pathos with ridiculous adventure and fantastically practical special effects. One of the things that I love most about it is that, despite it's summer blockbuster status, this is not an action movie. Aside from the occasional confrontation with Libyan terrorists, there's not a whole lotta Pow Bam Boom going on.

Plenty of Biff, though.

Thanks to it's incredible score, however, it always feels like one. Alan Silvestri must have found whatever sorcerous medallion that John Williams unearthed years earlier, because he produced one of the most enduring bits of movie music in history. You're probably humming it to yourself now. Don't be ashamed.

The story is wonderfully simple, fulfilling the double-edged wish of all teenagers to meet their parents when they were our age. To find that they are human, neither infallible robots nor tyrannical oppressors. Combine that with old school adventure in the classic style, a genuinely gripping character arc and a show stopping musical number and you've got one of the definitive movies of our generation.

Plus, who doesn't love crazy scientist Christopher Lloyd, all silly and scatterbrained with his wild hairdo--

ooOOOO! Christ god! Stop doing that, dude!

Best Moment: 
Fuck roads.


#3:
Another chick movie?! That's it! I'm turning in my penis downtown.

And yet, it's more than that. It is the only sports movie that I've ever been able to give a shit about.

Well... one of two.

The characters are so perfectly defined right from the outset that it's an effortless task to follow and cheer for them from the word go. In addition, it's an underdog story in which EVERY CHARACTER ON SCREEN is the underdog, thereby allowing you to root for everybody all the time.

Dammit, movie! Stop making me love Madonna!

With all of that framework it's almost an unfair movie as it is. Just to knock it out of the park, though (you see what I did there?), the filmmakers decided to front load this movie with as many brilliant actors as could fit in their unmarked white van.

Pictured: One of the great, inspiring actresses of our generation, and Gena Davis.

A pitch perfect (that's two!) period piece, this movie dugout (what?) all the stops to have me root, root, rooting for the home team every time (someone kill me).

Best Moment:

Tom Hanks, shaking violently, trying not to murder a woman.

#2:


Ok, I'm gonna level with you. It's taken me months to get around to finishing this blog and, honestly, if you don't know why this movie is great I'm not sure what I can do for you. Those of you whose hearts are not lifted and swelled with hope and joy by the end of this masterpiece, I'll direct you to my colleague, who would like a few words.

Seriously, how did Starship Troopers not make it on this list?

Best Moment:
"No thanks. Gave up drinking."
Yes, Andy.


And now, ladies and gentlemen... the least surprising surprise that you will ever experience!


#1:


Shocker.

But listen, this is a personal list, and to this day there is no motion picture experience I've ever had that has equaled the mad joy associated with this movie. Certainly, at the tender age of 11, my feeble brain could not comprehend the reasons why Star Wars was film perfection, but of course, that is part of it's genius. Fortunately for all of us, I have now developed into a well-rounded, intelligent man of the world, with extensive faculties to devote to the examination of this movie about magic space druids.

I... nope. I was gonna make a joke, but now I've just got chills.

As many great film scholars, and anyone who's ever walked by a community college Into to Movies, have observed, A New Hope's story is of a classic design: The young hero, called by destiny to defeat a great evil; the wizened sage, guiding our hero through his trials; the princess, defiant in the face of death; the charming rogue, his true allegiance unknown; the hideous bear monster. It's all the traditional stuff.

Defiant like a motherfucker.

But one of the things that I've learned about myself of late is that I really don't mind if creators use archetypes in telling their stories. What matters to me is how it's presented, and it's here that Star Wars is flawless. 

This is not traditional science fiction, or even traditional fantasy. The purpose of the film is not to introduce you to the rules and intricacies of this strange new world. Rather, Star Wars introduces us to a cast of characters first, characters with whom we can identify with and admire, and then proceeds to tell their story, with the world filling in the cracks around them. There is no 20 minute info-dump about the state of politics in the Galactic Empire. We get a title crawl to catch us up, and then we're off and running....

 ... away from a giant spaceship of horrors!

From that first iconic shot, this film is expertly paced. The plot flows so organically from the characters and their reactions to new obstacles and information that by the time we get to the daring Death Star run I have to pause and marvel at the economy with which the filmmakers have taken this whiny douche-nozzle from Tatooine and transformed him into the hero of the Rebellion. And yet, it's such a nuanced and realistic transformation that we almost don't even notice it.

Still has to sit in the back with Grandpa, though.

Talking about the cast is almost pointless, suffice it to say that here lies the canonical example of a perfect storm. Actors, old and new, brought together with an inherent chemistry that no mere director could have created alone.

And of course, there's this guy...


Perhaps the perfect archetypal villain, Vader's smooth and sinister voice, coupled with his take-no-bullshit attitude, makes him an imposing force of nature (no pun intended). Even without the knowledge of his familial relationships, the incredible image of the dark master of the Force choking insolent bitches can never be wiped from our collective memory... no matter how hard they try.

God

Fucking

DAMMIT!

The greatest adventure captured on film. Plain and simple. And if you lack the faith... I'm afraid I'll find that disturbing.

"Say 'midichloreans' again, asshole."

Best Moment:

YEEHOO!


Well gang, that's it! My favorite 20 movies, and it only took me a semester to finish it. Hopefully I'll be posting more of my nonsensical ramblings up here now, so please stop by again!